Meet JB the JokerNot that we love talking. We are neither fanatical with criticising nor habituated with fault finding. We very much love holding our peace. Who doesn’t want to mind his or her own business anyway? But after a careful exploration of events in the country you are forced not to remain quite anymore, you can’t choose to be a spectator, not anymore.
Here is my example, the more I want to keep quite the more Joyce Banda and her hand clappers give me reasons to speak up. If they are not blowing their annual state house budget allocation on phone bills then they are shamelessly coming up with new portraits that will bear the made in Korea title of “Dr” only to make a u-turn after the popular voice moaned about it, otherwise we were soon to have the name Dr Joyce Banda hanging on our walls, that could have been an achievement I guess.I have now made a conclusion that Joyce Banda loves drawing publicity stunts. This whole move gave the PP hand-clappers enough reasons to compose even more songs of praises and even going as far as describing our leader as that messiah we all longed for, hey! Blasphemy! In fact Joyce Banda is a listening president it doesn’t matter whether she has the qualities of a good listener or not, as long as she reverses decisions like this one, or the appointment of Khumbo Kachali as an overseer of Malawi Electoral Commission you will be committing an unpardonable sin if you don’t call her such. You may start thinking that these are the only reasons I have to justify my case of not wanting to hold my peace, take time to think of this; Under the wise and dynamic leadership of President Joyce Banda (not sure if this phrase is still being used) the country becomes too hot to live in, so many sectors are in a crisis phase and the civil servants were on strike bringing the whole country to a standstill and what do you hear from State House? She is flying to Equatorial Guinea to attend some summit-what’s the name of that summit again? I don’t even need to know because I don’t want to know. Is that all? No! She is flying to Guinea carrying K34 million, no wonder the appetite for travel. Allow me now to say this without fear or favor that this is turning out to be a money making process. Remember she reduced her salary with 30% (another publicity stunt) and we all applauded her for that, now there has to be a way of recovering that from elsewhere, hence the globetrotting.
Was the summit of great relevance to Malawi? Am yet to find out but all I know as of now is that our president was there to master some comedy scripts also and it has really helped us a lot as we can afford to laugh nowadays. Our own stand-up comedian Mr Jokes knows that he has found a match on the stage who is crafting her jokes in a way that instead of laughing with mouth ajar, all you do is shake your head not in agreement but rather not believing that we still have people that can joke in a more creative way like she does. If you ask me, I will tell you that all I do after listening to her jokes is shake my head, I can’t laugh or smile because these are more than jokes. If you try to laugh you may end up losing your voice so much that you can’t manage to laugh again the following day because our leader is never short of jokes.On arrival from Guinea, she found time at Sanjika palace to take us through her comedy lines. It was so funny to learn that President Joyce Banda with her Honorary Degree still believes that those Primary School Pupils who marched against the Civil Servants strike – of course it was a march against her government- were sent by some opposition figures. That’s where am hearing some people already laughing. You love jokes, huh? If this isn’t a joke then what is a joke? Please don’t open your mouth yet because there is more to come to send you to stitches, she went on to suggest, no I shouldn’t call it a suggestion, she just hinted on her decision to close down the Joyce Banda foundation because in her own words this is not a “business entity”. Come on Amayi, we know you can close down this institution without feeling any squeeze in your handbag, besides, you can make K34 million kwacha just by flying outside the country for 2 to 3 days.
Here is another joke, a K2 million kwacha reward awaits those that will report the person who “forged” her signature and authored that purported resignation letter. Do I even need to spend some ink discussing this joke? Not now, I just need to keep laughing because this joke here is award winning.